You would think that a rock star being married to a supermodel would be one of the greatest things in the world. It is.
We live in a strange world where the poor walk miles to get food, and the rich walk miles to digest food.
I'm a social cripple in a cocktail party. My idea of a nightmare is people standing very elegantly dressed in a room with a drink in their hand. I'm just like, 'Urghh!'
A BOOK?! WHAT D'YOU WANNA FLAMING BOOK FOR?...WE'VE GOT A LOVELY TELLY WITH A 12-INCH SCREEN AND NOW YA WANNA BOOK!
Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!
Fiona has the same glacial beauty of an iceberg, but unlike the iceberg she has absolutely nothing below the surface.
I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me.
I think I have this thing where everybody has to think I'm the greatest. And if they aren't completely knocked out and dazzled and slightly intimidated by me, I don't feel good about myself.
It's a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.
Mr. Twit was a twit. He was born a twit. And, now at the age of sixty, he was a bigger twit than ever.
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