I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
My mother would say, 'Why are you always playing alone?' And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. I'm fuckin' serious!
People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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