Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.'
Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
Keep a watch also on the faults of the patients, which often make them lie about the taking of things prescribed. - Hippocrates
One of the greatest experimental scientists of the time who was really doing something, William Harvey, said that what Bacon said science was, was the science that a lord-chancellor would do. He [Bacon] spoke of making observations, but omitted the vital factor of judgment about what to observe and what to pay attention to.
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