Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic.
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